Saturday, July 8, 2017 | 11 a.m.
Burn Hislope, also known as Edgar Allen Coe, L.L. Cujo, Masterbethovin, Master B, St. Bernard, Barnyard Hogslopper, Dr. Pepsee, the Southern Kentucky Legend and A True American Hero, is a man with even more talents than nicknames. He is an actor, a poet, a painter, a philosopher and a passionate humanitarian. Before his career as a musician, he was an inventor. His most notable creations are the commodercycle and 2 on 2 basketball. Burn Hislope is admired by men, adored by women, and has made more money than most people could ever spend. He is currently living in a shed in his sister's backyard and is accepting donations to buy a new pair of boots. In the future, he plans to save the world with his music. Just like in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventures, but without the magic phone booth or Genghis Kahn and all them.